One Year Ago Today - We Met Elijah's Parents!

(Don't worry, I won't do this all month. :-) Just for the really important days.)  Sarah is doing a "Days of Elijah" series all about her little brother on her blog this month. Hop on over and check it out. Also check out her new blog design. I love it! She is so talented.

Ok, one year ago today, we met Elijah's parents! I posted about it HERE and HERE (this 2nd post has a video of Elijah walking with his "toddler stomp").  I think this was the most emotional part of the entire trip. We first found out that Elijah's parents had been visiting him when we met with the director of the orphanage that first crazy day. I was very surprised as everything we had heard up to this point was how "all" parents abandon babies born with special needs at birth and walk away - forever. While this is the case for most children (like Jonathan :-( ), but it was NOT the case for Elijah. Elijah's parents, Mama Tanya and Papa Igor LOVE Elijah very, very much. They visited them often at the orphanage, even though their home town was 30+ miles away. Anyway, our meeting was VERY emotional as you can imagine. I still can't imagine the depths of their pain and loss, but I am SOOO thankful they gave him LIFE!!! I love being able to stay in contact with them and I love that Elijah will grow up knowing he has 2 sets of parents that love him very, very much.

I really do think their presence in his life benefited Elijah greatly. I don't know how the orphanage decided which kids with Ds went into which "grouppa" but Elijah was in a fairly good grouppa. Maybe his parents played a part in that. I don't know. Also, Elijah came home with VERY few "institutional" behaviors. He has never rocked himself to sleep like so many kids do. Besides the thwapping Rachel on the head the first few weeks (and that one time at home school group), the behaviors have been pretty minimal. He has also had minimal sensory issues, was able to feed himself, and has practically zero "stimming" behaviors.  I credit his parents, the Lord's mercy and grace, and his prayer warrior family that had been lifting him up in prayer from the very beginning for 3+ years. Your prayers were answered Celia! Thank you SO much!!!

(However, I just have to add this so you don't think life is all roses here (sharing my heart here)...Elijah has some difficult behaviors, especially lately. Some meals (usually breakfast) are a battle some days. He definitely has a need to be in control - can't blame him. He was never in control of anything before, but it still needs to be addressed. And thanks to my Ds mentor for this tip :-), Michelle whom we visited yesterday, I think his thought processes are ahead of his expressive language and it is frustrating him.  For example, yesterday at Michelle's, I told him to come out of playing in her vertical blinds. He didn't listen, so I removed him from the blinds. He wanted to return to them, so I held him back. I can't remember that exact order, but it involved trying to hit me, trying to take my hand to his mouth to bite it, and then trying to pinch my cheek. Sigh...Michelle learned this summer that every behavior is communication.  Definitely food for thought. How could I have handled this differently? Probably getting down at his level, getting his attention, telling/signing "all done", and redirecting him to a different place to play. This boy is teaching me SO much! Of course, this behavior is not acceptable and I'm not condoning it or making excuses, but some things I can change too to help him understand and communicate. Was this a control issue? Probably. Was he frustrated? Most definitely. All this to say I believe most of his behavior problems right now are more related to his age and Ds than post-institutional behaviors. I did mention that he can say "NO" now, right??? :-) I just this morning I saw a link to a free webinar on Ds behavior. I SOO have to watch it. I can post the link if anyone is interested.)

We are so incredibly blessed to have Tanya and Igor in our lives. I'm looking forward to a life-long relationship with them.  I have been especially touched by the gifts Tanya has given us. Too many have been given to name, but these two stick out to me the most. I especially appreciate the hand-made items. Thank you Tanya!

Hand knit sweater vest he wore on Gotcha Day

And this BEAUTIFUL hand-knit sweater for his 4th birthday! I know it will wrap him in warmth and love this winter when the temperatures dip well below freezing.