I need to get a grip. If you haven't figured it out yet, this adoption thing is a bit emotional - ok A LOT emotional. Let me explain why I need to get a hold of myself. This morning was the first visit as Elijah's legal Mama! How fun is that to type! Anyway, I had heard that things are different for visits after we pass court and that was very true. When I got there today (after riding the bus just fine by myself thank you very much), I wasn't directed to a different room to play w/ Elijah. I got to stay and play with all the boys! Yep, Elijah's grouppa has 6 boys in it - soon to be 5. No girls. Sadly, 2 of the boys were left in their play pens while we played, so I played w/ Elijah, Shea and 2 other boys that are a bit lower functioning. One of the regular nannies (other 2 were weekend help I think) asked to see our photoalbum. She then told through a bit of broken English that Elijah was a good boy and asked if we would be home to USA by "Happy New Years". Yep! I hope so. I then pointed to Shea and said good boy. She agreed and said something to the effect of he needs a family in the USA too. I told her I would try to find one. That's when I lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I'm pretty sure she understood why. Many an adoptive mama that has come before me down this road has blogged how leaving the ones behind is by far the most difficult part of this process. I'm starting to understand that. Oh boy, am I ever. I know it is going to be more and more difficult the closer we get to going home. I also can start to understand the passion by which moms advocate for those left behind too. So, guess what? You aren't going to hear me be quiet about Shea until he has a family. If you didn't click over to his picture, you need to know he has a $10,000+ grant!!! You might hear me mention that once, or twice, again. :-)
So, while I'm trying to compose myself, I start looking at our photo album with Elijah. He immediately starts signing mama and papa (on my face :-)). I barely choke out the words that Papa has gone home and I lose it again. Oh well...I miss my dear husband. It was so wonderful to spend the last 2 weeks with him, I can't even tell you. Elijah misses him too. Pat has always been a much more playful parent than me, but I will do my best to be silly and fun with Elijah.
Ok, it's 3:15 here and I need to take a break and face the snow again. Yes! It is snowing here! I have to do a different post by itself about the weather. I was going to tell about court yesterday, but that can wait until tonight. I bought a decent broom today too at the market, so I need to use that before I get back on the computer. Have a great day!
7 comments:
I was hoping you'd see Shea! Isn't his grant AMAZING!! Spread the word :)
Congrats on visiting as Elijah's really-truly Mama! He looks amazing & healthy & clever & I can not wait to meet him! Enjoy your one-on-time with Elijah :)
You just keep crying and yelling!! God is breaking our hearts for the things that break His. Weep, sorrow and Yell for Shea and for every other little one there. Yell so that they won't end up Lost!!
Oh Jill! I can't imagine what you are going thru but I am so proud of you to call out for Shea's family!!! They will hear you - I just know it!!! I will be there in a week and I will help in what ever ways I can!!! Thinking and Praying for you always!!!!
How fortunate that you are allowed to interact with the other children! Shea is so very handsome. I'll bet his family finds him soon with that fantastic grant. I'd love to see that orphanage cleaned out!!
It is so very emotional!! Elijah is so very lucky!! as are you, his family.
CAn you get some updated pics or video of Shea, that will really help a family!!!
Hugs!
I found your blog through your daughter's blog after I found Shea on RR and fell for him, big time. I want that little boy. I want to bring him home, make him a son and a brother, and love him forever. Even as I read his long list of medical issues, I keep saying, "We could handle that, and that, and that. . . " I have been praying for my husband's heart to be led to adopting a special needs orphan - and even before we were married I used to joke with him that we'd adopt from this particular country because my FIL was born there and we'd bring home a baby that looked like my husband. This little guy looks as much like a brother to my own four-year-old as one could except for the hair color. The ears, the mouth. . . *sigh* I am praying with renewed strength for my husband to join me in this desire. I fear that another family will find Shea before that happens - and if it does I will rejoice that another precious little one has been given the hope of a forever family. But, my gosh - I do want to scoop him up and love him home. Please pray for us.
Jennifer, if you see this, please email me at contentmentathome at gmail dot com. Thanks!
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